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A partial list of things that my baby needs to talk about:
- Mixing his formula with Purell.
- Having his baby stomach pumped after doing some formula and Purell shots.
- How to properly apologize to one’s parents.
- Staying at a Howard Johnson this summer (“think of the orange sherbet, Dad!”).
- Getting a haircut that isn’t a baby combover.
- Justin Bieber’s new album.
- Kevin.
Some people think their babies are special snowflakes. We think our baby is completely average. Here are his stories. Read on if you like, or don't. He's not very interesting. Most babies aren't.
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